Software companies hire professional BABA…Bug bhagao baba
- Are you an IT professional?
- Are you tired of bugs cropping up at the last stages of your project, sometimes right in production?
- When the developer says “it works on my machine”, do you distrust him/her?
- Is your life becoming hell because of strange magical bugs?
Well ,it may not be your fault as a new discovery suggests. As per the latest information ,one man ,known as Baba Bug Bhagao(BBB in short) ,has discovered the astrology behind softwares.
He says that like every human being has a life, every software also has a life and same principles of life,death and astrology apply.
He now uses sophisticated astrological calculations to determine how many bugs might arise ,what time is suitable for project launch and what should be the go live date.He also makes predictions about various softwares and IT projects and is famed to have predicted the blackout for blackberry networks
Many IT companies, especially the giants on India are hiring BBB to determine the project timelines and staffing .They also consult him on when to ramp up the team and when to ramp down, based on his predictions of bug discoveries.
An employee of I****** said on the condition of anonymity that BBB had suggested to cut the team by half and reduce the time line by 40% for a critical project, even though the developers thought other wise. Strangely beyond all logic, the project went live on time.They won a major account(though strangely almost all married men in the project got divorced).
Apart from this good side of astrology ,this discovery by BBB has also opened a can of worms and exposed sinister practices such as vodoo in softwares. BBB says that he believes many companies are already casting curses on projects of their competitors.Its not just between companies but even between internal departments .Your co workers might be putting up a curse on your project
When we asked him how to tell if your project has been cursed, he gave us the following tell tale signs
1. Do you get most of the bugs on a Friday evening?
2. Does the code always work on your development machines but never in production?
3.Does the business change their mind about requirements at the very last stages?
4. Do you see your project behaving strangely?
5.Does the system mysteriously become slow and fast again?
6. Do you get some magical errors when you try to install the project on a new machine. Every single time?
Well if your answer is yes for any of the 3 above questions , Your project is cursed.
BBB has also found was in which the curses are transmitted.Its not as simple as nimbu mirchi, its a software so the curse transmission is sophisticated as well.Some ways he believes the curse can be transmitted are
1. You receive an email from your competitor manager inquiring about status of your project
2. The email starts with ‘Dear’ rather than ‘Hi’
3.He/She sends His/Her developer to help but all you get is an advice on how bad the design of your project is and how you are screwed
BBB needs more research on this topic. He also plans to start a Vodoo protection company that will not only protect projects from vodoo but also reverse it
BBB is about to submit his thesis and write a best seller “Bug Nivaran, the path of truth”Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net