Mitron! We will party tonight– Cash Back Scheme like no other

After fighting corruption and black money last month, PM Modi has decided to join in the New Year celebrations tonight by doing a press conference with every Indian on TV.

Modi spokesperson said,

PM Modi has spoiled many other previous parties with his demonetization move and wants to give back to his countrymen. He is starting a new scheme called ‘Jan dhan tann mann ki tharak’ in conjunction with pubs and restaurants to encourage the cashless society dream that our freedom fighters had seen.

According to the scheme, PM Modi will do a news conference on new year eve and the beneficiary pubs can telecast it live. However, these pubs have to go cashless.

Seeing a business opportunity, pub owners in metro cities ran to the PMO to subscribe to this scheme. Restaurants owners think that telecasting IPL, EPL, world cups and even porn is a passe. Modi’s speech is the new thing that can attract crowds now.

A famous pub in Mumbai is offering a drink for  Rs. 31 every time Modi says “Mitron”.

The owner of the pub says “We actually wanted to give Rs. 1000 cashback in old notes to every customer when Modi says the word Mitron but then the crowd would run away to banks to exchange those notes as the deadline for note exchange ends today. So we thought let’s offer them drinks in such denominations that they are forced to pay us digitally.

We dare people to pay us Rs. 31 in cash! This is cashless India mitron!

A famous e-wallet player has released an entire list of words and phrases that would lead to instant cashbacks in the accounts of the people using them tonight.

Word list for cashback

  • Mitron/Doston
  • Desh ki janta
  • Mere pyare deshwasiyon
  • Bhaiyo aur beheno
  • Neeti
  • Gumraah kiya ja raha hai
  • Anubhav
  • Puri bahumat
  • Desh ke naujavaan
  • Durupyog
  • Samaaj ka vikaas
  • Kalpana kijiye
  • 10% extra cashback if the PM cries

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