God is pissed with humans for outing his secret
God is pissed, really pissed. He is angry with humans for outing the secret of this existence.
God said that he has been hiding for a very very long time now and no living human has actually met him . In his statement God said
Why the heck do you think I have been hiding? Because I want to. #MyChoice . Respect my Authority and stop saying I exist, If I really wanted you Meat Bags to know, I would have made my presence felt, made a public appearance. What part of #divinePlan do you not understand A**H****
The reason for the recent outburst by God was because he is worried that Human acknowledgement of his existence is ruining his divine plan.When we further inquired how , he rebuked us by saying our intellect is too puny to understand . We should stick to science
God further claimed that he purposefully gave humans critical thinking and filled the religious texts with cryptic nonsensical messages and stories so that humans could take the overall moral code but reject the fairy tales and also refuse to acknowledge his existence, but he seemingly underestimated humans ability to “believe” whatever the next guy says.
How did we get this message? : God entered one of our drunk staff correspondent’s body for a few minutes to give us this message. We got this divine message through him, he is our messenger of God, our Savior and we are now promoting him to chief Religious officer.
God ended his message by saying
I really do not care about you praising me , you are nothing but tiny ants(possibly tinier) for me . I am more interested in other things such as “Have you seen what i just did in the Orion Nebula?…Oh sorry, you will see it 1,344 years (if you are around–I know the answer, wont tell you ) , it will be Epic. Nevertheless Chill–Remember If you love me , accept that I do not exist, stop messing my plans …and BTW the closest to True religion is Mormons ..Rest all should get on the better side of my buddy Satan–He is a Hot dude..Peace out