Bane finally removes his anti-pollution mask after mayor Kejriwal implements odd-even in Gotham
Gotham City, US: Famous Batman-series Villain Bane has finally removed his mask and shown people his true face. This only happened after Gotham’s new mayor Arvind Kejriwal forced police commissioner Gordon and his GCPD to implement odd-even rule on 15% of the cars in Gotham City and pollution levels in the city came down from 0.0055 PPM to 0.0054 ppm.
Bane told media-persons in an interview that he suffers from multiple breathing problems and his mask is not to frighten other people but is actually an anti-pollution device.
Bane was visibly elated while talking to media. He said: “You would remember my dialogue from the movie. I used to say to Batman, “when Gotham is ashes, you shall have my permission to die”.
when Gotham is ashes, you shall have my permission to die
That was because the pollution levels in Gotham were so high, all I could see were ashes. I used to face lot of breathing issues. I was allergic to pollen grains in environment. I used to sneeze all day. I had to wear this ugly mask all the time. But now thanks to mayor Mr. Kejriwal, I can breathe freely. I can commit crimes in broad daylight and when I take selfies while I hang people from cranes, I can show my broad smile. Thanks Mr. K.” Bane wiped a tear off his left eye.
After munching on a big spoon of frozen yoghurt Bane further continued – “See, I can even have my food with ease. No wearing or removing that filthy mask all the time.
That mask even made my voice sound pathetic. Bruce once told me that, from inside of mask I sounded like some person who has deep constipation and is trying to hold his crap. Although I retorted back that his batman voice is equally shitty. Anyhow all that is gone. I uploaded my profile on Match.com yesterday. I hope some handsome guys will like me now.”
Bane then took part in a social event organized by Mayor Kejriwal where he charged 5 bucks each to wear the mask and speak in his voice to scare kids. All the proceeds of the show were sent to Gotham AAP (GAAP) relief fund.
Mayor Kejriwal also addressed the crowd at the event and said – “GCPD ke thulle to maan hi nahi rahe the ji, hamne karwa diya implement. Now I publicly order that thulla Gordon to catch Joker at the earliest. That stupid guy calls me every night and says he wants to become my disciple because I spread better chaos then he does.”
While US national media is lauding Mayor Kejriwal’s efforts, Delhi’s police commissioner Bassi has sympathized with his Gotham counterpart Gordon. He said – “I know what poor Gordon is going through. I have “jehlofied” Mr. Kejriwal for 5 years. Who can know better what he does to police.”